Nintendo, Don't Make Me Cry

Ugh, why must wii go through this? Wii've been waiting so long, only to be disappointed by you, Nintendo. As you can wii, Nintendo, wii clearly don't like where you're going with the name of your new console. The majority thinks so, at wiist. Please, please tell us why you would name your next generation console "Wii". I'm tired of the jokes, and the name was wiileased yesterday! YESTERDAY! That must wii a record, or something. But enough of this, I am here to tell ever-wii-body the goods, but mainly the bads, of why such a tragewii has befallen us. Trust me, I'll try to make this short.

Good

- The name certainly appeals to younger audiences, and you're certainly getting plenty of feedback from teenagers who really want to get their hands on their own Wii. You can't see it, but I'm shaking my head right now.

- Umm... I'm thinking, hold on...

- Okay, got one. The name, although making my body bleed internally with the horrible but intentional grammar, rolls off the tongue fairly easily. No one really wants to speak it though, without either getting laughed at or making a joke about it.

Okay, on to the bad.

Bad

- To be able to say the name of the console without crying or laughing, I'm going to need some wii'd.

- Check every video game related site. Heck, check every non-video game site, Nintendo. Wii jokes, everywhere. Whee for wii!

- Now people can actually say they "touch their wii at night." and be serious about it. You like that one? Yeah, I made that up just now. Where's my wii'd?

- Here's the worst part... You named your console "Wii". Think it over, now walk over to whoever thought up that name and slap them with something. Better yet, grab your wii and hit them in the head, or strangle them with your wii-mote control. If more than one person was involved in naming the console a Wii, this will be a lot funnier to watch. *skips away*

- I weally weally want a Wii. I want to howd the wii-mote contwol in my hand and pway it aww night!

- My Wii can detect depth. I've been saying that one all day.

- I have a screwdriver on my desk. Think up a better name now, or I'll be doing something very gruesome to someone with this eight inch Phillips. Oh, this is the official name? Hmm, I'll be right back.

- Argh, I got blood all over my keyboard now. Don't worry, thankfully I'll be getting a red Wii.

- Alright, enough Wii jokes, because I'm annoying myself with them. The screwdriver actually looks pretty tempting... No. I'll wait, there's still a chance they'll change the name.

- I liked the name of the Revolution, why not keep it? Yes, the Wii is unique, which is what you're going for. But why Wii? WHY?! I don't like the logic.

- I also don't like how people keep saying "We'll all soon be used to this name in time." because really, we shouldn't have to wait. Just pick a name that can't be easily made fun of, everyone will be like "Yay for Nintendo!", and we'll all patiently wait for E3.

- Oh, that's another thing. E3. If you don't show some impressive stuff, I'm going to start losing hope for you, Nintendo. I don't want the only reason that I own a Wii to be because it was the cheapest of the consoles. No, it won't work that way, because I've been with Nintendo from the beginning of my gaming life. First system? NES, second? N64. Third? Gamecube. Forth? Wii, for sure. Prove me wrong, Nintendo. Show me that there's more to a console than the name. A console's name will be remembered forever, yet so will the games.

- I'm sure we will all hate it when, at the end of a commercial for a game, it'll announce the systems it will be made for. "For X-Box 360, PS3, and Wii." *shudder* Let's hope we actually ARE over the name.

Okay, I can't badmouth Nintendo anymore. I feel like I'm injuring myself. Seriously, I have never felt so strongly against Nintendo so far. I liked the DS, I liked the controller, but I just can't stand this name. Really, it's killing me inside two ways; the name itself, and the fact I'm making fun of the name. It's a double whammy against me. I'm pinned for two. Nintendo, bring me back now. Please. I beg you.

- Kh-

Oh yeah! Maybe I should talk about some other stuff before heading to bed. Well, I believe I was talking about a BMX bike a long while ago. Well, I got one, although it wasn't the one I wanted, I still like it. It's an Ironhorse, and very perty. It's white, and had a bunch of stickers on it that I didn't really care for. So about two weeks after owning it, I decided it was time to make some minor adjustments. So I took off the front brake, two reflectors (leaving the side ones on so my parents would be happy), chainguard and all the stickers, as well as giving it a nice good wash.
I was so happy that it felt like a legit BMX that I decided to go for a little ride around. Bad idea.
On my way to a buddies I landed awkwardly off a high curve, lost my grip on my handlebars and almost flipped completely over them. I was in the middle of the Mall parking lot, I think. Near Tim Horton's, and some woman who saw me offered to drive me home. I assured her I was fine, and checked myself over. I found a "Smile Gash" as I like to call it, on my knee, and a monstrous thing on my elbow. It consisted of cuts, deep gashes and some small burns and scrapes. Basically, it looked like a big mess, so when I got home, I took a picture of it. Umm, click if you dare.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b19/Waden1/SweetGash.png

So, anyway, it's still not fully healed. And that's the end of that story. Oh, I have pictures of the bike, but I'm too lazy to upload them. Some other time, I guess. I think I've expressed enough silliness though the above Wii jokes. Feel free to read them again. Go on, I dares ya!

Mmm, one for the road. HOLY BIBLE, CRINKLEYBAGMAN! WE GOT ALL BLUE MAN GROUP UP IN THIS APPLE FRIZZOUSE!

Wii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Kham